Chalice Well
Are there more than four ways to end your anxiety and depression?
Probably, but during my 28 years of helping people just like you, I’ve found my favourite four things to focus on are. . .
1. The things you need to keep.
2. The things you need to get rid of.
3. The things you need to change.
4. The things you need to do to find meaning in your life.
Before I tell you more about these four things, I feel I must tell you a simple truth. One that most people won’t tell you.
Changing your behaviour is the most difficult thing you can do. The older you are, the harder it is to change.
However, most people don’t want to change.
Most people are happy being unaware they are unhappy. And in some cases they are unaware of their anxiety and depression.
The most common phrase you’ll hear is, “There’s nothing wrong with me, it’s him (or her) that needs to change.”
Have you ever felt the need to blame your mum or your dad for something they either said or did to you?
Anxiety leaves clues.
Do you ever think that other people are lucky, but you aren’t?
Are you one of those people who thinks the government should do more to help people like you?
If so, you’re not alone. And you’re not at fault thinking this way.
The truth is most people think there’s something wrong with society, government, other people and so on.
They are “trained” to think this way by the media.
To say it differently, you’re being trained by the radio, TV, newspapers, magazines, the internet, and all the rest who want to keep you the way you are, so they can control the way you think and keep you in a state of constant anxiety and depression.
Is there an escape route?
Yes… but first you must change your behaviour.
Notice I didn’t say change you.
That’s because there’s nothing wrong with you.
Even though people in the past have tried to make out there was something wrong with you, they are the ones who are wrong.
(Just don’t tell them I told you, okay?)
How do you change your behaviour and go from anxiety and depression to happiness and contentment?
You focus on the four main ways you CAN change.
1. There are things you need to keep.
2. There are things you need to get rid of.
3. There are things you need to change.
4. There are things you need to do to find meaning in your life.
You add things in your life that makes it feel you’re beginning with a clean slate. Yu get rid of everything that no longer makes you feel happy.
You change the things about you that you don’t like. And you look for ways to find meaning and make you feel fulfilled.
I want to change but I don’t know how.
Did you watch the first ever Star Wars film? If you did do you remember the scene where look is being told by Yoda. “You must unlearn what you have learned.”
Luke replies, “Alright I’ll give it a try.”
That’s when Yoda says, “Try not – do or do not – there is no try.”
But what if Yoda was wrong?
I think he was. And I’ll come back to that in just a moment.
If you know anything about personal development, or “self-help” as most people call it, you’ll have come across those Gurus who agree with Yoda.
“You can’t try to do anything,” They’ll tell you. “You either do it or you don’t.”
Then they’ll use some kind of “weird science” to prove they are right.
Here’s an example. “Try and lift that pen off the table.”
So, you dutifully lift the pen in the air only to be told, “ah, see you did it. I said TRY to lift it off the table.”
So, this time you “try” and nothing happens. Then your wise sage and guru puffs himself up and says, “You didn’t lift it, that means there is no trying.”
I can see his point if you were an animal not capable of rational thought.
But, you’re not, otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this.
The best way to try.
The truth is, there are degrees of trying that can be “seen” by you and me. They are subtle; however, they exist.
I know form my work with patients who have real mental health issues. I don’t mean these people are stressed out about working late and not having any “me” time.
I’m talking serious suicidal patients who have tried more than once to take their own life.
Changing their behaviour from chronic depression to a happy-go-lucky laid-back dude can’t be done the way Yoda says. It must be done in stages.
What Yoda preaches is what I like to call “magical thinking.” It’s great to watch in an action movie, but in real life it’s different. When you want to change your behaviour, you have obstacles to face.
Let’s say you want to lose weight. Maybe only 10lbs. Your obstacles are tasty snacks in the fridge tempting you with their wonderful smells, or the inviting way they look at you, silently saying “eat me.”
Or there’s that coffee shop you walk past in your lunch break and you tell yourself, I’ve been good these last few days, one quick cake won’t hurt.
Or how about a small celebration when something went your way. I deserve some chocolate, I’ll get back on my diet tomorrow.
In life, there is no straight line to changing into the person want to be.
You can’t go from being anxious, frightened about the future, feeling, stuck and overwhelmed to being energised, empowered and happy.
But you can try…
Here’s what I mean.
Let’s say you want to be happy. So, you ask yourself, how happy am I right now?
You give yourself an answer between one and ten. One means you’re unhappy and ten means you’re ecstatic.
You come up with the number 6.
Okay, now I’m going to ask you, “What would it take to get it to 10?”
It doesn’t matter what you reply because I’m going to say something like, “Will you try to get it to number 10 today?”
And you could reassure me you’ll try.
A day passes, and we meet again.
“How did you do?”
“I got to number 8 because I went for a walk like you said.”
My question is this. Did he fail?
Of course not. He increased his level of happiness by two points because he tried.
Granted, it might take him another two weeks to get to 10 every third day. But, it’s happening because he is trying to make it happen deliberately.
If it wasn’t for his trying NOTHING would happen. He’s still be stuck at level 6 on the happiness scale.
I know I’m making this sound really simple and it is if you know what you’re doing when you try the way I know how to get you to try.
Listen, in the past you’ve “tried” many things that haven’t worked. And there’s a good reason for that. It’s because you’ve been led to believe change is easy.
But it isn’t. It’s simple – not easy.
If it were easy you’d have changed already. You wouldn’t still have your anxiety and depression.
When I first see mentally ill patients I see them with no hope for the future. However, because I get them to try little things along the way, soon they are going home with a new positive perspective on life.
Because I’m looking from the outside in I know what will work for then in the quickest way to get them feeling good again. Plus, I hold them accountable for making the changes they need to make.
While I realise I can’t be there in person to help you, I can do the next best thing.
I can give you a resource that will help you right now that could help you with your anxiety and depression.
5 minutes and you’re stress free
It’s my quick start guide called, “Calm Body – Clear Mind.”
It will take you five minutes to read and then you’ll begin your journey out of anxiety and depression.
it’s yours free when you click on the link below.
Calm Body – Clear Mind
The quickest way is to fill out the form below…